Kedar's Log, Stardate 2009

I always think that in the overall scheme of things, a year is nothing but a man-made milestone that does not have any significance on a cosmic scale. But in general, it is a place from where you tend to look back and see how and where it ended for yourself.

And one tends to do that on all fronts – financial, personal, professional, social..

For me, I think this year was the saddest so far on personal front.. I lost an uncle and my father this year. Almost every day in your life, you gain some, you lose some.. but some of the things you lose are not worth lamenting. People, on the other hand are irreplaceable and you realize this the most after you lose them.

I think the family overall was doing good. You always wish your kid can grow up faster than you do but unfortunately that rate is same for everyone I think if your wife and kid are happy, most of you are happy anyway!

On the professional front, I would say this was a good year, not the best, however. I still kinda’ like to believe that the best is yet to come. Well, I am sure even Bill Gates must be thinking this way every day!

That rounds up the year for me, one always wishes a lot from the future.. wonder how much can be packed in just one year and if God will just hold this post for it..

But still, I think, I would love to say next year that last year was the best so far, and would like all the years thereafter to start with the same comment! …………I think that should do it, right?

So let it be written.. and so let it be done!

We hear this all the time, and each one of us thinks that life has not been fair to him/her at some point or the other. I say that in itself is not a ‘fair statement’.. Most of the times, I think our own approach to life makes it fair/unfair to us. Now all this may sound too idealistic and I hate it if ever I sound like so. So let me explain..

Have you heard the Eagles song “Get over it” (Album: Hell Freezes Over)? It is my all-time favorite for this very reason..

I too, have felt as if life has been unfair to me, on a number of occasions.. but I just make sure I don’t really start believing in it.. the problem with believing in such a thing is that you find an easy excuse for your failures. First of all, one has to forfeit the almost dreamlike and idealistic demand that everything in this world is orderly, reasonable, and fair. That’s the crux of all the confusion..

Now consider this..

• Why is it that this man is doing so much bad and still gets ‘rewarded‘ ?
• Why is it that when I try to do something, the world changes for the worse?
• Why is it that the lottery machine never aligns itself for me?
• Why is it that someone else has a smooth sailing journey through his life and for me even a simple thing becomes a nightmarish ordeal?
• Why is it that I never win anything in a lucky draw whereas these people always win an iPhone or a GPS or a million dollars?
• Why do all the lotteries in this world fall in someone else’s hands?
• Why is it that I always have to spend and spend and spend, to get something when people get things for free?
• Why is it that when I go 2 miles over the limit, I get caught, but the guy driving next to me going 20 miles over, does not?
• Why is it that so and so is always in limelight and I never get any attention?
• Why is it that he gets everything ready in life and I have to struggle to even get a sandwich?
• …..

Find something familiar here? I bet you have! Post a comment and add more to this if you feel like

I say, don’t ever ask these questions.. ‘coz there is nobody to answer these convincingly. There is nobody policing you nor is there a fair court to pass judgements about who gets rewarded and who gets punished. Nobody gets ‘rewarded’ in this world, everything you get is out of the effort / whatever it is that you put in and the timing in doing so. Add some of the magic potion called the ‘luck’ and voila..!

Nobody has answered questions like – ‘why is it that some of the biggest criminals sometimes never have to pay for their crimes’, or ‘why is it that some of the best people in the world got punished the way even the most vicious criminals didn’t or won’t’..

I don’t preach, but I just think that Life cannot be fair or unfair to you, but you can be.. so, I would rather be fair and stop passing judgements, than to dwell over such thoughts..

For those of you who do not remember or did not read my earlier post that had the context for this post, here it is : http://blog.somik.net/lifetime-change.

Then the war began to unfold.. (you can skip this if you are not in a technical mood) http://blog.somik.net/things-i-appreciate-now

Cracks had begun to appear here and there within 2 months of starting this new relationship, and it eventually died last week without even reaching its first anniversary! Last week, standing in front of a mirror, I looked straight in my eyes and asked – is this what you really wanted? That you can’t do things you want to do, that everything takes 5 steps when it used to take one or two, that productivity is suffering at the hands of beauty…?

I thought about it real hard, “can I go back to Ms Windows.. and what kind of a welcome will I get?”, “will it be life as usual again or have things changed irreversibly?” I had to try though.. so I knocked on the door of the “Redmond mansion” again..

..there she was.. same attire, same attitude, just the way I had left her. She welcomed me with a “crash”, as if to tell me that she hasn’t changed just because I dumped her once. I expected this, and remained nonchalant.. unperturbed. I just wanted in, and accept my fate with all its fallacies. I had learned my lessons – that all the beauty in the world is in the bias of the infactuated! That nothing is stable or reliable, that beauty does not necessarily mean practicality, that hype seldom matches reality, that awe should sometimes just stay that way and not try to be part of your day-to-day life, and that everything that gets trashed by elites is not always useless.

So I am back.. some people tease me about my choice, some say I didn’t have the guts to handle a glamorous girlfriend… all I can say is at the end of the day, I tried, I dated the hot and happening Mac for a year, but things did not really work out between us. People may laugh at Ms Windows, think it’s stupid and unreliable, but I did go over the fence and played the field… and tell you what, they are all the same!! Don’t get lured by one or the other, stick with the one you like and get going with your life!

In a world of virtual games, players, wins and losses.. I made history! I scored a whopping 256 in a Wii Bowling game against Samita after repeated failures to win any of the Bowling games we’ve played so far.. a record total of 9 strikes is all it took…!

Want Proof? Here ya go..

The “Better half” is a funny term.. I have joked about it all the time – is this the half that consumes the better part of you or is this really the better half of your life…? Jokes about husband and wife are most widely enjoyed and just like “there is no smoke without fire”, I say, “there is no joke without some reality”. These two diagonally opposite human forms come together in matrimony and start what they call the married life – an invention of a civilized animal that once roamed around like a monkey. What follows is either a war, a story, a documentary, an adventure, or a theme park ride! So I sat down and thought about what it has been for me as we pack a dozen years under our wedding ring. Read the rest of this entry »